Coaching, Training and Hypnosis from Not A Blue Tree
A group of three people, in silhouette and with a beautiful sky as the sun sets, jumping for joy at their success

We have the option of succeeding, the feedback from doing, or accepting the failure of trying. Which one is it?

A road leading to the horizon, symbolising the beginning of the adventure to achieve goalsI am, like most coaches, keen for my clients to succeed. Consequently, I work with them as they make their plans, establish their goals, and then get out there to make it happen. We are then faced with three possible outcomes: success, feedback, or the failure of trying.

There will be times when we do something that we’ve not done before. Of course, it may work out fine the very first time that we do it, and that’s great. If, however, we get a different result to the one we wanted, what do we do? The general wisdom is to try again. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”. At least, that’s how the saying goes. And I guess that there’s nothing really wrong with trying again. There is, though, everything wrong with trying again, so let me explain.

A road, blocked by the rising tide with warning signs not to continueIf we try again, we may simply repeat the same erroneous steps, and end up with the same result. Alternatively, we may give up, consoling ourselves with the notion that “at least we tried”, and giving ourselves a false sense of achievement. It’s almost as if there is a second place. First place for those who did it and got what they wanted. Last place for those who didn’t even start and definitely don’t have what they want. And a consolation second prize for those who did something which didn’t work out. Yay! You tried… and you still don’t have what you want.

So, now is the time to stop giving it a try, or having a go, or trying. Instead, think about it another way. Decide to do it or decide not to do it. Be bold and resolute either way. If you decide to do it, commit to doing it. That’s to say, leave the trying for others and be the one that does it. And, of course, if you’re not sure where to start, book an initial consultation here.

People celebrating with brightly lit confetti filling the pictureIf it works out, celebrate what you’ve done. You decided to do it and you did it. If you get a different outcome, don’t try again. Stop. Firstly, work out what worked and do more of that. Secondly, work out what could have been better and do it better. And finally, do it. And when you’ve done it, celebrate what you’ve done.

Of course, you may reach a point where you just cannot get to where you want to be. In which case, celebrate your progress. Celebrate all that you have done. Recognise all that you have learned. Acknowledge that you’ve moved forward. Remember, there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. Then decide what you want to do next. And do it! You can do that, can’t you?

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