We go through life accruing experiences, some good, some bad, and some indifferent. We process those experiences and most end up safely stored in our memories. It’s all part of the amazing power of the unconscious mind. However, some memories just don’t resolve. For multiple reasons we keep those memories alive, reliving and revisiting them, adding layers, and allowing the emotions to burn bright. And, with the passing of time, we add to the burden, building a catalogue of events that made us angry, sad, fearful, hurt, guilty. Ultimately, it’s a burden which we end up carrying through every day. I do, therefore, find myself wondering how heavy the baggage of your past has to be before you’re ready to sort yourself out.
It’s easy to justify holding on to those memories. We tell ourselves that they keep us safe. They prevent us from repeating the same mistake. We’re protecting ourselves from harm. And, importantly, we don’t want those who led us into those situations to get away with it. They did us wrong and they must pay. We replay the events in great detail, aware of what happened and what we could have done differently.
The reality is that those memories which we so assiduously keep alive have the opposite effect. They colour our judgment. They draw false comparisons. We miss out on opportunities and options. Those memories drain our energy and limit who we are. And as for keeping us safe, would you trust someone to give you sound advice when they are full of rage, crying painfully, or wracked with fear? I thought not.
The biggest deception of them all is believing that by keeping the memory alive, the perpetrator, those who did you wrong, are somehow on the hook. If you let go, this in some way lets them off. What we forget is that the perpetrator, that dreadful person, may well have forgotten all about you. In their mind, they’ve never been on the hook. So, they’ve moved on, continued with their life, unburdened by the event that you have found so burdensome. And now you’re really mad!!
Of course, in these situations, the only one who loses is you. And deep down, you know this. Conversely, what you’re probably less aware of is all that you have missed because you’ve been so weighed down. Consequently, you fail to see how limited and limiting you have become.
You do, though, have a choice. You can make changes and let go. If you want, you can sort yourself out. It’s your call. If you’re ready to take the next step, do it now. That said, if you’re not sure, book an initial consultation here, and then work out what the next step is. You know that it makes sense, don’t you?