If I tell you not to think of a blue tree, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Odd, isn’t it? This happens because you can’t think about not thinking about something without thinking about it first. Now think about that! So, what you really need to do is focus on what you want.
However, while we know this, it’s astonishing how much in life is about what not to do. For those of you with children, have you ever told your child not to spill something? And, then what happens?
I’m sometimes asked if it really matters. Surely, they say, we need instructions, prohibitions, and directions which keep us safe. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t play with fire. And definitely don’t push the big red button!
Trust me, it matters. It matters because we’re more likely to succeed if we focus on what we want. This means having a very clear idea of the positive outcome that we’re pursuing. We set out what we want. Consequently, our unconscious mind has precise instructions for what you want to achieve. Ultimately, you are more likely to succeed.
And think about that for a moment. I’m sure, like me, you know people who jump from job to job, hobby to hobby, relationship to relationship. They tend to be people who have no idea of what they want from the world of work. That’s to say, all they know is that they’re not happy in their current job and don’t want to be unhappy.
Some people don’t want to be bored, yet never stop to think about how they want to fill their time. There are those who don’t want to be alone, and who end up in relationships which are far from satisfying. Of course, this is the result of taking action to get away from something you don’t want. Subsequently, anything other than where you are, which is where you don’t want to be, has to be better.
The risk, though, is that you could end up anywhere. Consequently, you may well end up somewhere worse. And so the cycle continues.
Switch that around. Establish where you are. What’s working for you and what could be better? Next consider what you want instead. Be positive, be precise, and make it as exciting as you can. Then go for it.
And, if you ever find yourself giving instructions, rather than tell people what not to do, tell them exactly what to do. What do you want the outcome to be when you give the instruction? You know that you can do it. If you need help, book an initial consultation here. If you can do it for yourself, what are you waiting for?
