Much is written about the importance of emotional intelligence. It is something that some seem to have in abundance. Equally, there are those who seem to really struggle. Importantly, it has nothing to do with general or intellectual intelligence. I’ve certainly met people who are very intelligent yet completely lack any emotional intelligence. The good […]
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Those of you who read my blog regularly will know that NLP underpins all of the work that I do as a coach. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) as a concept has been with us since the 1970s, the work of John Grinder and Richard Bandler. And describing it as a concept is somewhat misleading. It is
It surprises and troubles me that so many people, adults and children, experience recurring issues with anxiety. While a certain level of anxiety is perfectly natural, being so overwhelmed is certainly not. Anxiety for many is hugely debilitating. It stops people from living the life they want to live. Additionally, it reduces choices and options,
One of the presuppositions of NLP is that there is no failure, only feedback. The premise is that if we view those results which are different from what we wanted as feedback rather than failure, we can learn from what we did and then do better. It’s a great notion. It flips our understanding on
If there is no failure, only feedback, why does it feel so bad when it all goes wrong? Read More »
The art of effective communication is, in my view, reaching a shared understanding of an issue or a situation. We don’t have to agree. Indeed, we can agree to disagree. However, if we have communicated effectively, I understand you and you understand me. We can each represent accurately what the other has said. Easy, isn’t
How often do we actually say what we mean, and do we really mean what we say? Read More »
People often ask me what NLP is. I tell them that NLP is the study of the structure of our subjective experience. Unsurprisingly, I frequently get some very blank looks. We all experience the world in different ways, even when our experiences are objectively the same. Additionally, we process and store information about our world
The NLP Model of Communication explains how we experience reality through our five senses. We process that sensory information, running it through a number of filters. This includes deleting, distorting, and generalising. We feed it through experiences of time, energy, and matter, through memories and decisions, through preferences and attitudes. Finally, we store an internal
Almost all of us, I’m sure, have people in our lives. Friends, family, partners, neighbours, colleagues. The list goes on. Some of us will be delighted by the people we have around us. We’ll note the joy they bring, and how the relationships enrich our lives. The truth is, though, that not everyone has the
We go through life accruing experiences, some good, some bad, and some indifferent. We process those experiences and most end up safely stored in our memories. It’s all part of the amazing power of the unconscious mind. However, some memories just don’t resolve. For multiple reasons we keep those memories alive, reliving and revisiting them,
One of the presuppositions of NLP is that we can only evaluate behaviour and change in terms of context and ecology. That’s to say, we can only evaluate change if we firstly understand the circumstances in which change has taken place. Secondly, we can only make that evaluation if we can confirm that everyone benefits,