A large spiral stairway, going downwards.

Are you making really superficial changes now to avoid the profound and lasting changes that you deeply wish to make?

A roll of beige wallpaper, with some faint gold patternI recently found myself reading a number of articles about how to improve on a budget the look of your home. Nothing about profound and lasting changes. Just some quick fixes. This ranged from painting a feature wall to dying your bedding. It all seemed so easy, and it struck me that life can be a bit like that.

We can make some superficial changes which give a sense of renewal. A different haircut or colour, a change of car, a new pair of shoes, a different brand of breakfast cereal. The novelty wears off, and we start the process all over again. And why not? Isn’t life, after all, all about new experiences and doing new things? Our unconscious mind loves it too. It constantly seeks more, and our minor variations and whimsical changes  potentially satisfy it.

A new pair of sneakers, which have gold coloured uppers, turquoise laces and red lettering on the sideI wonder, though, if addressing and changing the superficial is what we do because it’s simple and straight forward. It allows us to be distracted from the profound, which of course can be much harder to change. New shoes is so much easier to navigate than a new career, a new life, a new model of the world.

Redecorating the front room and buying a new sofa gives a sense of change and renewal. Importantly, it may be that this is the culmination of a huge goal around returning to work, paying off debts, and finally being able to have the front room of your dreams. And only you will know. If the objectively small changes are the mountains that you have had to climb, then celebrate your success, and start preparing the next steps. If, however, the novelty of the changes soon wears off, perhaps it’s time to ask yourself what you are really looking for.

What are you changing in your life? What’s the reason for making that change? And the reason behind that? And the reason behind that? Are you making those changes because that it is what you want to do, or are you masking the profound issues which you are not yet ready to change? Once you realise that you are ready to take the first step, take it and find that you can then take a second. You may want support, in which case you can book an initial consultation here. When you are ready, with or without support, you know that you be the change what really matters, don’t you?

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Gary Burns

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